Here it is Sunday evening already. The weekend was spent with family members celebrating a retirement. Several thoughts came out of our time together. Our discussion touched on having a loved one in a nursing home.

Since the one retiring was a care giver in this type of setting, her suggestions are as follows. We have also included some additional thoughts and ideas gathered from our own life's experience.

1) Always attend the "Patient Care Meetings". These are regular scheduled meetings to go over with a staff person on how the loved one is doing. This can include discussions of, but is not limited to, medication changes and the expected results of these changes, as well as eating, sleeping, activities, physical changes such as weight gain or loss etc. Be sure to express any and all concerns you may have about the care your loved one is receiving. Document the questions and answers.

2) Make notes at these meetings to see later on if the staff follows through on decisions reached and agreed upon.

3) Be a "squeaky wheel" so to speak. As sad as this is, the truth of the matter is that sometimes to get the care you feel is the best, you need to be letting the staff know in a nice way that your loved one should be getting a higher level of attention.

4) Document! Document! Document! Write down observations of neglect including date and time, take pictures if necessary. Do surprise visits at odd times. Use your nose as an aid to help detect if your loved one's hygiene is being neglected. The facility itself should also have a non-offensive smell.

5) Don't neglect your responsibilities too. Visit as often as you can, bringing cheer and a smile. Bring snacks and treats for the staff. Be sure to celebrate mile stones your loved one reaches such as birthdays and celebrating holidays together whenever possible. You don't need to have a reason to bring a gift. Gifts can be fun anytime.

It is always difficult when circumstances make it impossible to care for those we love and a nursing facility is necessary. These thoughts and tips are shared with you to make that difficult time for you a little easier. Hope this helps.